How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
