I want to stick my p in your. b.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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