garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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