what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
