Rock
Scissors
Fuck
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
