do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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