I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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