I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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