just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
there is glitter all over my balls
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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