i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
