its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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