There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
