2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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