I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize