OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
