I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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