CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
