I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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