I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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