When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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