So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I would fuck him just for his dog
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
