Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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