So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
