he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
She announced her abortion via fbk
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize