We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
