Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
A+ Viking dick
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
