so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
