we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
