8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
