pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
