I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize