A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Apparently you make a good broom.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize