windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
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