im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
