I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
