There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
