This is not my ceiling
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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