Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
