Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
