I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
