I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
