My first STD was from a foam party
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
