Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
