The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
