I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
