At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
There's always time for handjobs
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
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