I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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