There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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