Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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