what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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