Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
