I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
