so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
