i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
