I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
