My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
