Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm just crazy horny about you
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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