Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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