i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
