Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
