i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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